The Pseudo Movie Reviewer – Take Two

Remember Me [2010]

Review by Heather Arneson

If you want an M. Night Shyamalan ending, only with an emotionally-charged story and a lot of heart, Remember Me delivers, but don’t read about it ahead of time. An annoying roommate named Aidan (played by Tate Ellington) who seems to be auditioning to come back as a dog in his next life, is something you will have to suffer through like Gandhi. Satan’s magic trick is revealed at the end, along with a tattoo that pisses me off, though you might not care at all or be able to tolerate the roommate character enough to get there. Chris Cooper, Emilie de Ravin and Robert Pattinson work together to remind us that we’ve all put people on a pedestal like Aidan in our lives that we shouldn’t have, due to times of low self-esteem. Also, there are scenes that make you nostalgic for New York City, if you’ve been there, which are great for people who never minded the yelling, overcrowded restaurants and good craziness that is just too charming for words.

Image courtesy of Summit Entertainment

The real stars of the movie don’t reveal themselves at all really, as they are among us every day. You may think that’s a corny statement. But it is not as much as the bucket you would like to throw at me if you are a rich a-hole, a gossipy biotch, a R.E.B. (rich entitled bitch), and the like, I’m sure, if that saying ever catches on. Hey, I’ve been outspoken a bit towards people who deserve it (especially if I’m not getting paid by them for service work-the joys of working for the man). By minimizing human interactions, as this film portrays, you are part of the disgusting human nature that adds fuel to the fire of those who are destroyers of this planet. And you push them every day with pettiness into doing it! Ah the beauty of disseminating tiny brains who are the true monsters.

Back to important topics, like tattoos. Aidan gets one, and this bugs me not because I’m some nitpicking religious type, but because it is supposed to be remarkable and meaningful, and he is just not that. Basically, I could picture him getting mad at someone for no reason, throwing it in his or her face either before or after the fact, somehow shaming them and then insincerely apologizing to that person’s friend. Yes, my psychic powers predict that he would be a tattoo-shamer, but not in the traditional sense of the word, as his face-value douchery is hardly rivaled. It drummed up memories from college life of being at a lame party I wasn’t invited to personally that seemed exciting at the time, with that guy in the corner who was drunk, playing beer pong by himself and laughing for no reason. I did not feel like laughing at Aidan, however. Roofies swimming in his subconscious come to mind, and him shaking his Holden- Caulfield-with-a-conscience friend down from the top of a ladder because he had electricity go to his brain that produced some humans call a thought, would probably make any spiritual guru yell at him a la Gordon Ramsay if he suddenly appeared from the book stacks they were surrounded by.

Anyway, if you feel like laughing and having your eyes mist over with tears (if you have a heart and aren’t a R.E.B.) even want to teach your kids about life a little, while holding back anger against little child bullies who remind you of scenes from Children of the Corn, this is the movie for you! WHAT ARE PEOPLE LIKE THAT DOING IN NEW YORK ANYWAY? Anger going down…breathe, Heather, breathe…that should be a safe place from passive aggressive antics by little…breathe…and if you have to acquiesce to your hubbies’ best friend coming over in order to maintain your marriage even though he sucks, drinking his craft beer, while saying “cheers” and trying to put on pretenses in the way of bringing up world politics but then awkwardly bringing it back to sports as a way to impress a younger girl in his life, well, I feel sorry for you. Also, maybe you should watch the movie to learn what can happen when you allow people like that into your life to avoid that mess in the first place. I’m also glad I don’t have kids, though I love them, and especially didn’t raise a child of the corn! Additionally, I’m happy that I am over my college days, although I exercised my brain. But exercising decency, non-judgment, and love is best as this film demonstrates. Ask Pierce Brosnan, who plays whitie with a heart, and could even make you forget you hate whitie with a passion. Ah, to be rich, but also I’m glad I am not soulless so I could enjoy themes I didn’t explore much in this movie review. Have fun getting in touch with your feelings; that’s all I can advise if you watch this flick.

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