The Pseudo Movie Reviewer: Take Five and a Half, The Hellish Report

Mashup of…

Seduced: Inside the NXIVM Cult (2020)
Episode Directed by Cecilia Peck, a Starz Originals Presents Production

The Pickup Game (2020)
Directed by Barnaby O’Connor and Matthew O’Connor. Produced by NY Film/Two Man Crew LTD

I mashed up these two shows like apples, as I’ve felt they were divinely-inspired, ripely-picked bites of horrific reality, just in time for Halloween! The world we live in is just an elevator ride up from hell and I will prove it by dissecting the rotting cores. This was more of a scientific experiment to me than movie review, as villains were featured in these works who made me question if they were human or not. Walter White and some evil frat boy must have produced a spawn, is my hypothesis.

Seduced: Inside the NXIVM Cult was the first in a part of a series, which delved into the manipulation of the human psyche by false prophets like Keith Raniere. Now, if you never guessed that someone who looks like your local librarian could actually be one of the worst sex traffickers in your neighborhood, well, you might be in for a shock of realness. AND he got a photo op with the Dalai Lama. Some kids don’t even get to sit on Santa’s lap! This is because this guy received the money from society to run a cult, instead. Wake up and smell the sulfuric nightmare! He even bought a specialized pen for branding sex slaves in their cult. Also, he was shown kissing basically everyone he came across, though espoused monk-like ways. If you saw a monk kissing people in a Kung-Fu movie, he’d get thrown into a tranquil pond of contemplation.

Next, The Pickup Game forays into the life of male seed that learn to be calculating jack the rippers. Being of the hands-off social networking generation, they don’t actually want to get their hands dirty and kill for a living-just maim the hearts and souls of lonely and/or drunk women…then post pictures of it later for their homies. Their “game” is supposedly an artform devoured by a new demonic regime, reminiscent of SA officers who were more “lovers” rather than “fighters.” My sarcasm knows no bounds in this, and as I am not prejudice, nor claiming any of these people are (the instructors represent all shapes, races, and abercrombie and fitch mall locations), they merely just remind me of them in their avarice of flesh. Trying to make a religion out of something that is satanic feces excreted by the brains of males that waste any intelligence they once had is just plain stupid. Protecting women should be the game, and banging drunken or sad women are not impressive feats of manhood. Being a male who listens or helps protect these types from lecherous monsters does make one more of a man, however. As the story goes, Dracula didn’t even respect his greatest admirer, and he suffered terribly like all of the rest of the victims.

As the Dalai Lama might even agree with me, comparisons are the root of misery in the world. When you compare yourself to your neighbor, a celebrity or to Keith Raniere (well that might make you feel better, actually), you are hurting your soul. God did not design everyone alike. Take a walk, join an organization you feel passionately for, invest time in a hobby, or gain wisdom from a Madea movie, ANYTHING but listen to those freaks of nature. The work you put in for your spirit will make the right person come to you. Racking up STDs, fake phone numbers and vomit on your carpet by intoxicated one night stands probably won’t.

All people: predators are in your midst. These are the true demons and haunt us each day. If you have daughters, I recommend these pieces of viewing in order to show them the effects of evil and how it is thoughtlessly brandished. Callous, cynical people who have already laughed at the vulnerable of spirit or heart are ruthless monsters who do exist. If you have sons, I recommend the two pieces to demonstrate how trying to equip themselves for manhood does not consist of trying to be a human machine gun of sperm and, instead, being careful, loving and responsible does.

Happy Halloween!

Love, Heather