The Pseudo Movie Reviewer: Take Six

“Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House” (2017)

A film by Peter Landesman and the most production companies I’ve seen in the beginning of a film, but I want to be fair, so here we go:

Sony Pictures Classics, Mandalay/Endurance Media Ventures and Torridon Films in association with Riverstone Pictures, a MadRiver Pictures Production, a Scott Free/Cara Films Production and if I’m missing anyone, I’m sorry…thank you MOM, God, oh boy…this is so much…I am hearing the music (by Daniel Pemberton) calling me…and, so many great actors I am surrounded by. I mean, oh wait, my delusion got the best of me. Back to writing about FBI and CIA agents, who could tail me and tap my cell phone…can’t wait! Well, I have a feeling on this one, so I have to do a review, and also, I’m pretty sure the NSA beat them to it. Anywhos, maybe they will do a re-edit a la George Lucas and I will be called upon to help out and my own production company, Inkubator Production Company, would be added to the credits, because I assisted in watching someone’s dog and the list could go on, like the beginning of this review.

I wish I didn’t get bored and confused immediately when someone brings up politics, as I am one to like to help others when I can, and aren’t people in power supposed to do this? I’ve often thought that elected officials should go through a psych evaluation, to make sure they are mentally competent, sane, and aren’t suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. It is scary how much people who want control and money in the world actually obtain it. I just want to create, myself, and make enough of a living to be able to feed, clothe and put a roof over myself that is spacious to some degree.

Image courtesy of Sony Pictures Classics, Mandalay/Endurance Media Ventures and Torridon Films in association with Riverstone Pictures, a MadRiver Pictures Production, a Scott Free/Cara Films Production…I think.

Alright, getting off the topic of this interesting movie, which I was relieved could be, as it is an important subject that is even more pertinent today than it was then: the right to privacy and the democratic system not being thwarted (especially from the inside). Insiders? Ears and eyes, open mouths? Hey, you can even watch Liam Neeson take down the White House AND find a daughter without having to kill anyone (for all you hippie-dippie peace lovers out there). He is also called “deep throat” which means he will find you and kill you if you make any racy jokes. The eagle has landed and free speech is here to stay, everyone. Don’t forget he has a certain set of skills. Okay, even Liam would have to smile at that one. Sorry, had to…and here are some other bad ones:

What do you call a KKK member who never gets fired?
Blue Silencer.

What did J. Edgar Hoover like to do after work?
Tap dance.

Capitulating after a long journey towards the presidency was hard for President Nixon, I’m sure, as it was for The King after getting up post-splits. Both had struggles to gain power over the masses. He sang and danced his heart out and made millions of women cry like many gay men who go into politics and never tell their women folk until it’s too late. The point I’m trying to make is, creating problems to get sex from strangers is not the American way, it’s the wire tappers way. Wire tappers are kind of like phone sex operators, because they give the illusion of something in exchange for money.

It’s best to look at a mirror, not search for Elvis nor imagine people clapping at you for repeating “I am not a crook”, which actually incriminates you more the more you deny something without much emotion in your eyes…which leads me to another joke:

What did the sperm donor say to the politician’s mistress?

Take THAT to the bank!

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